worthallthis | The Last Voyages: IC Inbox

Steve said if people die, their wardens usually have them brought back in medical. If it happens. I can't wake up there.

[He's not saying it's going to happen. But if it does, he knows himself well enough now, knows how much of his programming has degraded, to know that he will lash out and try to escape.]

Well, you're not dying, for one.

[It's an irony she's thought about, of course, because everyone either dies or leaves her.]

And no, I probably wouldn't take you to medical.

[Her first concern would be getting at whoever the fuck killed him. Ellie crosses her arms over her chest, sitting on the arm of the sofa.]

Did you piss someone off or something?

No. I was attacked by nine people during the port. In three separate events.

[He's really not sure why she's so unhappy about this.]

It's just a contingency plan, Ellie. I'm not planning on pissing anyone off or dying. But just in case.

Fine. I get it. No medical, just in case. I'll be happy to never use this information.

[She idly kicks at a bunched up blanket.]

Anything else, B?

Thank you.

[Then he... hesitates. And turns away for a moment, collecting the pillows she pulled off the couch and crouching down to slowly start propping them amidst the sea of blankets.

The death thing was easy. This thing is hard. But he did promise Godric.]

What do you know. About. Right and wrong.

[Ellie is absolutely not helpful at all, just sort of sitting there, trying to figure out what he's trying to get at.]

I know what's my right, and my wrong. I know there are things that are generally right and wrong, and that there are exceptions. What's up, huh? You can talk to me.

[B uses the couch pillows for walls, propped up by blankets on each side, focusing on making sure they're stable rather than looking at Ellie.]

Godric says I need to learn. That my programming's wrong. I need to learn new rules. Rebuild my sense of right and wrong, is what he said.

What brought that up? You seem to have some idea, B. You're not an animal.

No, I'm a weapon. And weapons don't make those kinds of judgments.

[Why would he be allowed to do that? If he thought about that sort of thing, then he'd wind up questioning orders, and nobody wanted that. He starts draping a blanket across the tops of the standing pillows, as a roof for the little "fort".]

The port. The one I killed because he was a witness. Godric was. Not pleased about it.

[This whole conversation is rubbing her the wrong way. Ellie takes a breath. Tries not to bristle, but she's visibly tense in the shoulders, in the way she crosses her arms over her middle.]

One. You are not a weapon. Weapons don't get a sea of blankets and a pillow fort. And two--[Fuck Godric, she wants to say, but just barely bites her tongue. He's Bucky's friend. Getting Bucky all conflicted about that by being shitty won't help him.]

I don't know Godric. I've never met him. So you can correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm going to assume he's never had to deal with the consequences of letting someone live. Joel got his fucking [oops, volume, and all that talk about death has Joel on her mind anyway] brains bashed in because he let people live. I told you, B. You were ensuring your own survival. I would have done the same shit if I were you.

The pillow fort is for you. I wouldn't fit, anyway.

[Which neatly side-steps the issue. He's having a hard enough time with the personhood question right now. He drapes a second blanket over the back half, giving it a critical once-over so he doesn't have to look at Ellie during that. Obviously it's important to her.

She's his warden. Her opinion is probably the one that matters more than his friend's, especially since she's also a friend-- and Godric decided not to be angry anymore, anyway. So he sits back on his heels, patient and still, until he can say,]

Okay.

Blanket Sea is for you.

[So there.]

Just... no dying on me, okay? I don't ever want to be in the position where I have to figure out what to do with you like that. You do what you need to do to survive. Always. If something happened to you...

[She can name four people in her life that she's cared about that haven't died. Dina. Maria. Tommy. JJ, and he's a baby, so he's only been around for so long.]

You're important to me, B, and not just because of the warden-inmate-deal shit. Don't forget that. I'm always gonna have your back.

I know. I don't really want to be in that position, either.

[He looks back in her direction again, uncertain what that means for an attempt at working out what being right or wrong means, but willing to find someone else to ask about it. He doesn't want to upset her further.]

I will do my best not to die. I don't like leaving things without contingency plans, that's all. It's just. Safer to know there's a plan. I'd be happy to be your contingency plan, too.

[His best is all she can ask. When he frames it as a contingency plan, or more specifically hers, it does settle in her a little more.]

That makes sense. You're right. It's safer. Smarter. So, if... I get my ass killed, first thing I'd need you to do is not feel [oooh, she's already cringing because she knows it's easier said than done] bad about it. It's probably my own fault. I'm actually really good at getting into trouble.

[It's only ever a matter of time.]

Taking me to medical is fine. You don't gotta do it yourself, I'd actually prefer if it wasn't you, you know? Better someone that doesn't really know me. But you can let them know where to put me.

[He's not sure he can promise not to feel like it's his fault, but maybe if he wasn't anywhere near enough to actually save her he could manage. (Probably not.) So he looks vaguely dubious, and kind of guilty about feeling dubious, but he can ask:]

Do you have someone in particular you'd like to take you?

[He doesn't actually know a whole lot of Ellie's social circle. Does she have a social circle? She ought to have a social circle. Even he, the murder machine, has a broad collection of friends.]

[The circle is just about in this room. And maybe next door--Tess. Ellie fiddles with the sleeve of her shirt. Friends are... difficult, to put it lightly. Plenty of people here are nice enough, kind to her, but she just has a hard time meeting them halfway. She tells herself it's for their own good, for her own. Everyone either dies or leaves her.

Can't happen if you don't have people to die on you or leave.]

Tess, I guess. She could handle it, and we're... better than we were.

[Friends? Maybe.]

[This may be something they need to work on. B has some ideas, or will once he's alerted to the problem.

He might maybe slightly make a face at Tess's name, but he does say,]

Okay.

[Then, because he can't quite resist,]

You're better than you were? She's not bullying you anymore?

[Bullying. She takes offense to that, but it was... true.]

I told her the truth about... Joel, and why there's no cure. [More like she snapped and blurted it, but.] Now that I'm not hiding something huge from her, I'm not... worried about her somehow figuring it out and flipping her shit, you know?

[She just thinks Ellie is crazy for being so caught up on Joel, but that's fine. No one could understand. No one went through what she and Joel did--up to the very end.]

[Loyalty outside of all reason is possibly a thing B might understand. Maybe. He eyes Ellie a moment, on his knees in the blankets next to the finished fort.]

And she's nicer to you now that she knows?

[Look B is not... super fond of Tess. This will remove at least one reason to not be fond of her, and he thinks it's important that he's got it right.]

Yeah.

[Ellie decides it's time to leave her perch and plops down to peek inside the fort.]

... I think she thinks I'm not right in the head, but whatever. There's worse.

[Have a deeply skeptical look, there, Ellie, even while he scoots back a little to give her room. It's her blanket fort, he said. Go on and see what it's like in there.]

Why would she think that?

Because Joel is an asshole and not a good person. I'm choosing him over the whole world.

[But she knows this. And easily gets on her elbows to crawl into the little fort, huffing out a laugh.]

[B is pretty sure Joel isn't worse than he is. He's definitely sure he's not worse than literally anybody at HYDRA. And if he had to choose between Ellie and the world, or Godric and the world, or Steve and the world--

He doesn't know. He won't ever have to, he's sure, at least. They don't leave those kinds of decisions up to murder machines. So all he says is:]

I don't think you're not right in the head.

[And then he drops a blanket down over the front of the pillow fort, blocking her from sight. As a joke.]

Thanks, B.

[He might not be the best judgement of character, but she'll take it. And she laughs a little more when she's closed in.

Except she can stick an arm out between the pillows. Slow enough, and she's not going to grab him, but it's in his general direction.]

[B is an excellent judge of character, thank you.

He considers that reaching hand soberly for a minute, then reaches down to give it a gently, low-five. (There's such a thing, right? High-five up high, low-five down low. It makes logical sense, anyway.)]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject