worthallthis | The Last Voyages: IC Inbox

[Ellie very obviously, and very slowly, reaches out an arm to try and tip over a cushion. Because she's a brat when she's playful.]

Earthquake?

Only if the earthquake's name is Ellie.

[They swat gently at her arm.]

We're on a flying space boat. There's no earth to quake.

Turbulence.

[Undeterred, she tries again, just testing his patience--or ability to mess around and have fun.]

Uh huh.

[He swats lightly again, and pointedly shifts so he's kneeling between the pillows and her angle of attack. If she wants to continue that particular teasing, she'll have to move, too.]

[That's just rude. Ellie groans and rolls onto her stomach, army crawling into what should be the inside of the fort, but most likely just getting in the way.]

Am I annoying you yet?

Always.

[He does not, in fact, sound particularly annoyed. And he does his best to work around her, so long as she's not actively knocking over the cushions. He's to the point of draping a blanket across the top, now, so really, he's almost done.]

[She laughs, pleased with his answer, and doesn't want to destroy the fort. So, she just prepares for him joining by scooting over to one side and laying on her stomach, chin resting on her forearms.]

It's pretty cozy in here, just saying.

Yeah, yeah. Just finishing up here.

[He's made it big enough that he can slide in without touching her, or even the potential threat of touching her. She's within reach, but there's still a good foot and a half between them, when he sticks close to the cushions aide.]

Well? What do you think?

[As if he wasn't the one that put this all together. Ellie will still take the credit for the foundation.]

It's a little small, still.

[He'd really rather be a little further away from Ellie, here, but. It could be worse. And it's cozy.]

Reminds me of a sniper blind.

[That's less cozy, but not bad either.]

I smell that bad?

[She's teasing. Ellie tosses a blanket over him before keeping to her side.]

[He pulls the blanket off his head-- his hair is now something of a disaster, but he ignores it-- and tucks it under his chin, instead, a cushion against the metal arm folded under it.

His answer is serious, though.]

I don't usually get this close to people.

Yeah, but I'm not people. I'm Ellie.

[Big difference, she thinks. And before he can say anything about being people, too, she carries on--]

I'm your friend. I'm not gonna bite you.

[Good, because he's not going to say anything about being people.]

It ain't a reflection on you, Ellie. Or whether I like you or not. It's everybody.

I'm not offended or anything. Just trying to figure it out.

[She scoops some of the blankets under her chin for a pillow.]

It just makes you uncomfortable?

Yes. And afraid.

[Logically, he knows Ellie isn't going to hurt him. But his skin still crawls with knowing he's within her reach, that she could grab him, even in a neutral or helpful way. He can keep it locked down, but it's still there.

At least they can give something of an explanation.]

I think. Mostly if HYDRA was touching me. It was bad. It hurt. Or they didn't touch me at all except to get me out of cryo. Depending on the handler.

[He might not be afraid of her, not really, but hearing it still does something to Ellie's chest. Even in this stupid, fun little fort, he's scared.]

I've touched you before. It's never been bad, right? Never to hurt you.

[And she does her best to make sure he knows it's coming, when she does. Trying to set him up for success here, rather than have him freak out an accidentally hurt her and then deal with that fallout.]

[He sighs and turns his face briefly into the blanket. It's a heavy, tired sound, and his voice is a little muffled when he says:]

I know. I know. But that doesn't. Stop me from expecting it to be bad, anyway.

[He's got seventy years of conditioning and abuse to overcome, and it's not something he's seen the need to actively deal with yet.]

Can I make it easier for you?

[She's not sure how. She's not exactly touchy-feely to begin with.]

I mean, it's gotta help that I'm just... me. You could kick my ass, or like. Fuck up my hair.

I could probably have taken out most of the techs and guards and handlers at HYDRA. Maybe even all at once. But I didn't.

[He emerges from his blanket muzzle to look across the room.]

Is it something I have to change? Is it important?

I think so, yeah.

[She sighs and turns onto her side to look at him.]

I mean, it's fine to not like people hanging off you. But the people that like being around you are... gonna wanna be around you. For example, I like this stupid fort, and that I got a grown ass man to get into it. But I don't want you to feel uncomfortable because you're in a small space with me. What if I want to sit next to you, huh?

Then I'd deal with it. I might not like it, but I can deal with it.

[Just because he's out of practice of hiding every little emotion doesn't mean he can't still do it.

He's not even sure how he'd get better with this. He'd have to. Practice. Like with the library. (Which he's stopped practicing with, since Ellie doesn't want him to have panic attacks.) That seems even more harrowing than the library, though.]

I wouldn't want you to just deal with it, though. If you haven't figured it out by now, you being... comfortable, I guess, especially with me, is important.

[The whole warden-inmate thing is strange, but Ellie's always tried to approach is more as a team effort thing. A friendship, first and foremost.]

Hanging out in a fort is probably a start. Makes me resist the urge to mess it up to annoy you, too.

[Her wanting him to be comfortable, made even more literal in a couple weeks when the flood hits. He stares vaguely across the bedroom, then sighs a bit.]

Then we'll work on it. Maybe it'll be easier than the library.

[He doesn't sound particularly hopeful about it, though.]

The Last Voyages: IC Inbox

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