worthallthis | Apocalypse How: IC Inbox

[ That's okay, Bucky. Tony doesn't flirt to get a reaction like...90% of the time. He does it because it's reflex at this point. Like how you almost kick the doctor when he hits your knee with the little hammer thingy.

Er, anyway. You and Tony both, buddy! Though with Tony it's not so much nervousness as his constant, ever-present state of near-unbearable anxiety becoming slightly more elevated than normal. He does his usual thing and completely barrels through it, though, opening the door to let Winter in. ]

Howdy, Gunslinger. Aren't you prompt. Come on in, I'll make coffee. [ With that Tony immediately steps away to the kitchenette, calling out as he flees. ] Try not to bump into anything.

[ As he is left standing near the doorway, it ought to become immediately apparent to Winter that, should he choose to continue avoiding direct eye contact with Tony, there's plenty else in the apartment to occupy his gaze. It's a bit less chaotic now than it had been when he'd first established it, but Tony's makeshift workshop still swallows up a good portion of the apartment and is full of interesting knickknacks to observe. Just observe, though: ]

I don't have to tell you not to touch anything, right? [ Tony is still bustling around making coffee, speaking loudly so he can be heard. ] Can't imagine you wanna risk losing Righty, too.

I've been in here before, Tony. I made Jaeger tea few times while he was recovering.

[And he moves easily between things without touching them, looking for wherever he's supposed to be. There need to be Jaeger-sized paths in here, and Jaeger's even bigger than Winter is, so he's not too concerned, and it's easy to keep his hands to himself. They stay in his pockets, in fact, shoulders a little hunched.

He kind of hovers by the edge of the kitchen, where the fewest bits of Tony-mess are strewn, and watches Tony bustle around. He's not sure if he should apologize or not. Did the... other him? Apologize? Would that make things better or worse?

He finally says, haltingly,]

I remembered. Your. Howard.

[He swallows, and says in a very small voice,]

I'm sorry.

[ As soon as Winter drops 'Howard' the mug Tony is holding parts ways with his hands, hits the floor with a crash and shatters into a million pieces. Another one bites the dust apparently, but Tony barely acknowledges it. Maybe he has yet to shake his habit of giving nary a fuck when something breaks, as he's used to being able to replace it immediately, or maybe he's just too taken aback to care by the hard left turn the conversation just took from introductory pleasantries to the subject of his parents' fucking murder.

It's probably both. Mostly the second one, though.

Unfortunately, the sound of breaking ceramic blocks Tony's ears to whatever else Winter says. Tony knows he hears him say something, though... So he takes a deep breath and a couple steps back from the mess of shards around his bare feet, until his lower back hits the counter and he can reach back to grip its edges and ground himself ]

What was that? What you said just now, didn't catch it. [ He doesn't look at Winter when he speaks, opting instead to stare at the broken mug on the floor. ] Speak up.

[Winter doesn't look at Tony, either. He flinches badly at the sound of breaking glass, taking a full step back. Towards the door. But then he stops and steels himself. Tony's been kind to him, even though he knew. Even if Winter doesn't want punishment, Tony would be within his rights to dole it out.

He swallows hard, and says again,]

I'm sorry.

[Then he finds himself adding,]

You've been. Kind to me. You knew, but you were kind anyway. You didn't have to be.

[ Tony is almost perfectly still but for the way his knuckles pull taut as he grips the counter, and almost perfectly silent but for the way he breathes unnaturally slowly to pre-emptively stave off any panic. It's unfortunate that he can't quite find the verbiage to explain to Winter (to Barnes) that this reaction isn't anger, or actually a reaction at all, but a self-grounding mechanism to slap down his own nervous system when it attempts to go rogue on him. It's similar to the way he'd had a handle on things in Siberia, measuring his breaths via a tiny counter in his suit interface, up until the tape had rolled.

Thankfully he doesn't really need to explain anything in the end, as Barnes actually says a few additional words after he repeats himself as requested, filling that extra bit of space that Tony needs to make sure he won't start gasping for breath as soon as he opens his mouth. They're nice words, too. Gentle, earnest. Tony loosens his grip on the counter, just a little. ]

First off. [ Tony's voice sounds nice and steady to his own ears, so he finally looks up from the floor and lifts his shoulders a little, gaining confidence. ] You're still working on becoming a Real Boy again, right? You know what'll go a long way? Not springing a highly distressing subject on somebody as soon as you walk through their goddamn door. Give it like, ten minutes. Or at least make sure they aren't holding something breakable.

[ God, why did Barnes have to remember? This was way easier when Tony didn't have to talk about it. He takes another steadying breath, standing up straight at last, and lets his head fall back as he exhales. Eyes closed. Counter solid against his back. ]

And it's...fine. I mean-- no, it's not fine, there's never any way it can be fine, but... [ Breathe. ] It wasn't your fault. I'm not, I feel like... I can't hate a guy who didn't know what the hell he was doing. I don't know what kind of person I'd be if I did hate you, if he'd be good or bad or...justified, or whatever, but...

[ Breathe. ] ...I know I wouldn't like him. That guy.

[ Okay. It's all out. Nothing exploded and no one is dead. Tony's eyes open slowly, and then he finally looks at Barnes. ]

You gonna come here and help me clean this up? It's your fault I broke it.

[Not holding something breakable. Check. Winter's not sure he could've waited much longer without exploding or melting into a puddle or fleeing, but he could have waited until Tony wasn't holding anything, at least. Sure.

He still looks kind of terrified, like he expects Tony to explode himself, like he's not sure all those words to say "I'm not mad at you" aren't talking around a truth that actually says "I am mad at you", but he inches closer.]

Of course. I can clean it up. I can't cut myself on the pieces.

[The metal hand can't, anyway.]

[ It's kind of funny how not scared Tony is right now, particularly in comparison to the way Barnes is acting, which isn't dissimilar to how someone might behave when sharing space with a particularly dangerous predatory animal. It might have made sense for him to be so spooked if Tony were wearing his suit, perhaps; he did lop the guy's arm off last time he'd seen him armored up, after all. But nope, no suit, Tony's just wearing sweats and one of Jaeger's shirts that's so comically huge on Tony it makes him appear even less threatening in comparison to Bucky, who looks like a fucking GI Joe even in his civvies.

But Christ, the guy looks liable to bolt if Tony so much as sneezes loudly. It's frankly pitiful, and Tony almost offers him a Xanax...until he remembers he has to pay for those now. So instead he slowly steps away from the shattered pile of ceramic, putting a little more distance between him and Barnes than what is strictly necessary as he nods his thanks. ]

Thanks. I mean, I'm gonna go grab a broom and dustpan, but don't let me stop you getting a head start.

You, uh...still want coffee?

Coffee is great. If you're still making it.

[A ruined cup doesn't mean the whole pot is ruined, he knows. And coffee will be comforting, and be something to hold onto while Tony works, if Tony is still going to work. His brain is still trying to go in little circles of "angry technician equals punishment" and "maintenance equals pain" and even "I made a kind person upset which is bad", but a task helps.

Winter sinks to a crouch over the shattered mug and starts plucking up the bigger pieces, the ones that would be harder to get into a dustpan, setting them on the metal palm to cart to the trash.]

It works on me now. Coffee. It didn't used to.

[ Tony wrings every drop out of those few seconds of increased distance that he can, doing a box-breath and counting things around the room and running through every other stupid trick he's learned to quickly calm anxiety short of that one where he sticks his head under a faucet. He wants to do that one, though. Maybe later. ]

Yeah, I heard from, uh. Your buddy.

[ Just say 'Steve', Tony. Look, if this situation gets any more awkward and uncomfortable Tony might actually literally scream, so...fuck you. Vague allusions it is.

After some rummaging he at last returns with the broom and dustpan, passing them along briskly before he flits over to the coffee machine to finish what he was fucking doing. Before Barnes came in and started acting all...Barnes. God, does Tony know anyone normal? ]

So you figured out your preference yet? Cream? Sugar? Black with a side of hard tack for old timey's sake?

[Sure you do, Tony. Just probably not the ones from your world. They're definitely all weirdos.

He does sound a little less awkward, himself, though, as he answers the question while he sweeps up the last of the shards. Thank goodness there wasn't any coffee in that mug yet.]

With cocoa in it if I can get it. Cream and sugar is okay if there's none of that.

[That's right, Bucky Barnes has discovered mochas and he loves them. He pauses, climbing to his feet, and adds,]

Hard tack is disgusting, though. There's a lot of much better foods around here.

Oh look at Mr. Fancy Pants Starbucks Order over here. [ Tony manages a snort of laughter at that, because it's unexpected and that's funny. ] Sorry, all's I got is Half & Half and a buttload of sugar, that okay by you, High Roller?

[ Ok, coffee time. First Tony sets about fixing a cup for Barnes with all the accoutrements, handling it with care, and then he serves himself. Which just means he fills a mug with straight coffee, downs it in almost a single gulp, then fills it again. He's halfway through the second cup when he turns to Barnes, handing him his mug once the guy's done sweeping. ]

You can set the broom wherever. [ Don't hand him things. Tony does hand over the cup, though. ] Here's your joe. Don't expect a whole lot, it's just Folgers. And I was kidding about the hard tack.

[ Mental note, go easy on the sarcasm with this guy. And the flirting. ]

You asked. I'll take what you have, it's fine. I don't expect most people to have cocoa to add to their coffee.

[He returns the broom to where Tony got it from, because of course he was paying attention to that, and dumps the shards of mug into the trash before accepting the coffee.

He holds it with both hands a moment, as if taking in the warmth of it. Though the metal one doesn't really read heat the same way as the flesh one, so it's a familiar comparison of data in his brain.]

Even the instant stuff here. Is better than some coffee I've had. It smells good, either way. Thank you.

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