worthallthis | The Last Voyages: IC Inbox

He's not wrong there. If course Steve would've been mad - but at the Admiral. Not at Bucky. Or whatever he wants to be called.

Because, "Easy for them. For us. Not for you." Steve glances away, eyes focusing on a blank part of the sleek metal wall for a moment. "I could try harder. If you really want to stick with Asset." He knows they've been over it, but, "If you just let me call you Bucky because it seems... easier than telling me not to, then that's dumb. I - I'm your best friend. Or, at least, you're mine. I can be uncomfortable for the sake of your comfort. And I wouldn't be mad at you."

Just because you're not mad at him doesn't mean he can't still pick up on the anger and be nervous or upset about it, Steve. He's a very observant murder machine, and you're an open book anyway.

There's a twitch, a flinch, at that goddamn name. He actually, physically bites his tongue for a second on the automatic "don't call me that", because... because. It isn't right for Steve to call him the Asset, either. (And now his tongue hurts. Appropriate, really, since that name always means pain, doesn't it?)

But the compromise name. That one was okay. That didn't make him think of punishment and fear. "Buck," he blurts after a tense pause. "Use that. That's. That's safer."

Steve tends to use Buck and Bucky so interchangeably that the truth is, he hadn't realized -

"Oh," he says, eyes swinging back to Bucky, looking a little unsure, maybe, but, "I mean. Yeah. Sure. If - that's safer."

He's not sure whether safer is good enough, admittedly, but he tries to listen to the request, and not the reasoning. And there was a clear request, there. "Okay. Sorry. Buck."

He can certainly do that, even if it feels like a kindness, and exception, and he worries that it's one his best friend shouldn't have to make.

His lips twitch up sardonically, and he adds, "I still say screw everybody else, but - it's up to you. Clearly my methods aren't always the best. But if you wanted, I could keep an eye on the pairings for you. Tell you when you've got one. Then you wouldn't have to read it at all."

"I read everything. Or listen to it," he says, making himself calm down again. It was a brief panic, but it was still a panic. But Steve is going to do it. He made a request (gave an order, practically) and it's being respected. It's almost always respected with Steve. And, frankly, with everyone else, the few times he's actually done it. It's so fucking weird.

"A lot of it is really boring," he allows, heart rate finally getting back to baseline. "But it's intel. Don't know if I can just skip the Admiral's notices." A thoughtful pause. "I can try."

Steve's lips do tick up at that; "It is intel," he agrees, even if he's largely the opposite - he doesn't check the network very frequently at all. He'd argue he's just old school, but that's maybe not the end of it.

"I mean, if you can't skip them, then don't. Some people'd probably even say it's good for you to do things that make you uncomfortable, but." It's his turn to shrug one shoulder. Steve isn't one of those people. Not when it comes to Bucky. "But if you want to try not reading them, I'll keep an eye out for you. Just in case you need to know."

Frankly, Steve had stopped paying attention, with a permanent warden, but that had changed once Bucky came on board. Now he definitely wants to know who Bucky gets paired with, because there are some people... he might have issues with.

He finally reaches over, pulls his own quickly cooling coffee between them. "If you want more," he offers.

He nods. He'll think about it, and see what happens when it gets towards the end of the month. For now, he hesitates, then holds his mug out. Sure, hit him with some coffee that might actually be hot, this time.

"How long did it take," he asks as the coffee pours. "To have one warden that didn't change."

"It depends," Steve says, filling Bucky's cup. "This is my third 'permanent' warden. It was... four months, the first time. Two, the second. Nine, between Yara and Cal."

He glances up, once Bucky's cup is full. "But for some people, it's just a couple months. Others... I'm not sure they've gotten permanently paired? I - think it's more likely that you'll get paired as an inmate than a warden, if that makes sense. There are usually more wardens than inmates, although I think things are flipped right now. A couple months is probably the norm. Nine was a long time. I wasn't really sure I was gonna get paired again."

Edited 2020-09-17 04:01 (UTC)

He pulls the cup back and has a sip. Yup, hotter. The coffee is better warm, he thinks.

"So. At least a few more months." That also sounds exhausting. Having to learn a whole new ~~handler~~ warden every month. What if not all of them are as... careful... as Taura? What if one of them is cruel? He supposes he can handle cruel. He has for as long as he'd existed, he's sure, so it might even be familiar. But that doesn't mean he'd enjoy it.

Steve's been here for years. Steve might know more. Though Steve doesn't like this place, that might make him more honest than someone trying to talk it up. "What are the other wardens like."

"Probably," Steve agrees softly. And while Bucky maybe doesn't know it, Steve knows that if he gets paired with someone who treats him badly... Steve is going to do something about it. Even if it's something stupid.

Because while most wardens aren't outright cruel... "They're people," he replies. "They're just - people. Being a warden doesn't make them good, just like being an inmate doesn't always make you bad. Most of them are good. Some of them I trust. And some of them have been horrible to me."

He's rarely admitted that, and absolutely never to Bucky. But Bucky, here and now, doesn't seem like the person to pry into that for the reasons Steve wouldn't want him to. "I can tell you who's been kind to me and who hasn't. I think... at least the good people would be good to you, too. But honestly, most wardens are pretty hands off. Especially when it's just for the month."

He does get some slightly narrowed eyes in his direction at the admission, but no direct questions. He just nods. Give him intel, Steve, let him know what to expect from the other people here.

And maybe Steve might be biased, might not tell the truth, might be trying to make eventual punishments worse or win the Asset over for some kind of Barge-politics gain-- it's what anyone at HYDRA would have done. But there's a little bit of him, maybe the leftover train-guy feelings, that says Steve will do his best. That little bit is being bouyed by Steve's continual attempts, awkward and often failed though they are, of doing what the Asset wants. Trust isn't a thing he knows anymore, but he's going to at least try to believe Steve means well, until he's proved otherwise.

"Well, starting with the people I trust: Lark Tennant's at the top of the list. I trust him with - anything, frankly. Even the hard stuff. Especially the hard stuff." So, the things that maybe need to be done, but that will hurt or have consequences.

"After that... I mean, my warden, Cal Kestis, he'd help you if you needed something. So would Tiffany Doggett and Ford Pines. Iris Wildthyme - she and I don't always get along, but she'd be there when it counts. Buffy Summers and Luke Skywalker, too. Elijah Kamski could fix your arm if it was broken. I think he'd be as gentle about it as he could. Nikola Tesla might be able to help, too. I like Aloy, Godric, and Rita all right, although they're new. They've been decent to me, anyway. I think they'd be decent to you."

As for the other side of the coin; Steve takes a breath. "Most of the wardens I actively hate are gone," he says, lips twitching up wryly. "So that's a plus. Most of the rest are just... I don't know. Complacent. They think the way things are here is fine. Don't see a problem with it. But Betelgeuse - I wouldn't trust him as far as I could've thrown him when I was ninety pounds soaking wet. Don't give him the benefit of the doubt." Steve had, and it had crumbled within days. "Zoe Hange and Misty Day don't much like me, because I don't get along with Betelgeuse. That's how it can be - if you don't get along with someone a warden cares about, they'll shut you down and call it fair. I don't trust Jonathan Sims, either. He brought a whole mess of trouble down on the Barge, and he felt bad about it, sure, but I still don't trust him."

Most of those names he knows, a couple he doesn't. Most of the ones he knows are from the network rather than meeting in person, and a couple of them are already people he'd rather avoid, but-- "Iris keeps bringing me a rope to tug on or a ball to throw. As a wolf." Just to make sure Steve knows he's not doing this with an old woman.

He's not sure what to do about the Misty situation, though. If she doesn't like Steve, will she be angry if she sees him spending time with Steve? He's not about to stop, but does that mean he should stop seeing Misty? What would she do if he avoided her? Ugh, there's so many ways that could go, and he doesn't know her well enough to confidently predict any particular outcome. Maybe he'll just wait and see. That's usually the safest course.

"Have you met Ellie. Or Zhao Yunlan." Because both of them seem to keep poking at him, so he ought to see what Steve has to say about them.

"Oh - " Steve smiles a little, hearing about Iris. "She's... yeah. That doesn't surprise me. That's good." She'd done Steve a big, big favor last year, and she seemed to always like Bucky a lot. It's good to see her taking care of him now, in her own way.

At the question, though, he has to shake his head. "No. But there's a lot of people I don't know. I... could? If you want more intel."

He shrugs. It's not that important. "They just keep talking to me. It's fine." If Steve doesn't have intel, he'll just keep collecting his own. Yunlan gave him a little scare once (by implying he'd been insulted by something), but otherwise has been pretty okay, and Ellie is practically cute-- not that he lets his guard down, exactly, but he can think someone is cute and also a potential threat at the same time.

He finishes off his coffee and starts picking himself up. There's been time to come down from the expected freakout, and he needs to get breakfast before work.

Steve nods, but fine or not, he makes a mental note to maybe look into them, anyway. Just out of curiosity. That's all.

He tenses for a second when Bucky starts to get up, planning to get up himself - but then he thinks better of it, figures he's less threatening down here on the floor, and stays where he is. "Do you want to meet at the Enclosure tomorrow? I can bring Lark to let us in. Or we can give it a few days, to get things set up."

There's a moment of hesitation as he runs over the plan and its components. "Day after tomorrow," he suggests, then, with a little hunch of his shoulders at making the decision himself, but at least he did it. He needs time to track down Dogma, somehow verify that Dogma will talk to him after the train-guy feelings, and work up the nerve to ask Dogma if he will let him use that obstacle course again with Steve. And if he wants to come, he supposes.

Definitely gotta have an extra day for all that.

"Sure thing," Steve agrees immediately, with an easy, small smile. "And if that timetable becomes a problem - let me know. The mission parameters are flexible."

He hopes putting it that way is acceptable. And understandable.

"If he doesn't want me there... that's okay, too. The point is for you to do it."

Acceptable and understandable, both, and he nods with a little relief. "If he doesn't want you there. There's other things to do. Running, you said." Because he'd kind of thought the point was to do it together.

He offers the coffee cup back. Can't really take that with him.

Yeah, okay - it had been the point, despite Steve saying it wasn't. Or, at least, it had been Steve's hope. Giving Bucky peace of mind is more important than being there to do it, but... Steve kind of wants both. If he can have it.

"Okay. We'll figure it out. But no need to plan for contingencies yet."

He finally does get up so he can take the cup, with a nod of thanks. "I'll see you the day after tomorrow, then, if not at lunch."

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