Well, there are a couple of ways that sentence could go, from I don't know if I get to be happy long-term to I don't know what will make me happy. He isn't sure he wants to admit either out loud, any more than he's really convinced that he's paid what he owes for this body.
But all the same, after a minute, he admits, "It's not that I don't want to keep it." Because that's also true, he thinks. This is better than being sick all the time. This is better than not being able to do anything if people need help. He can't deny that much is true.
Besides, if he's got even a chance at happiness... he doesn't want it to end because he catches the space flu and dies the second they leave the Barge. Because that would just figure, wouldn't it.
"No, it's - I should keep it," he decides, quietly. He can just feel guilty over it, after all.
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Well, there are a couple of ways that sentence could go, from I don't know if I get to be happy long-term to I don't know what will make me happy. He isn't sure he wants to admit either out loud, any more than he's really convinced that he's paid what he owes for this body.
But all the same, after a minute, he admits, "It's not that I don't want to keep it." Because that's also true, he thinks. This is better than being sick all the time. This is better than not being able to do anything if people need help. He can't deny that much is true.
Besides, if he's got even a chance at happiness... he doesn't want it to end because he catches the space flu and dies the second they leave the Barge. Because that would just figure, wouldn't it.
"No, it's - I should keep it," he decides, quietly. He can just feel guilty over it, after all.