"Yeah, okay, I'm down-playing it. There's some shitty stuff about the Barge, I know. Just." He sighs, bumps his head back against the bed-frame couch behind him. Yes, he's on the floor of his cabin. "I can't be here for me. That's not fair to the inmates, you know? Am I here because I really want to help them? Or am I just here because this is the only home I got left, and I was too tired to try and make a new one out in the world?"

Maybe it's because Natasha's been somewhere he's been. Maybe it's because she's not here and she's probably not going to go tattle to Steve or Godric or Ellie. Maybe it's because it's Natasha, who, in his timeline, he'd gotten close to. Like a sister. Maybe it's because she's dead. But he doesn't think there's anyone else he could have really said that to, right now.